aside The new home

Dear Diary,

It’s been 6 months in my new city and funny how it’s the first time I’ve finally mustered the courage to face you. Not for the lack of time or try. Because I swear there’ve been nights when I had almost picked up the pen, but the right words never picked me.

So I let it go. Took the easier way out. Just like I’ve always been known to.

Yet, it was never easy to leave the place where you didn’t just belong but one that belonged to you. Because goodbyes are hard. Not to look back, harder.

Time is a state of mind. It’s not just half a year but 183 days of hesitant steps turning to walking down familiar roads, awkward small talk around office desk changing to laughing till sides ache around the water cooler.

I’ve lost myself time & again in the incessant rain, auto driver singing songs in a language I wouldn’t understand but the tune would fix me even on days when Coldplay couldn’t. While getting off, he’d remind me to open my umbrella.

Just like ma would.

The messenger has changed, the message remains the same.

Now I get my early morning espresso shot in the smile of the little balloon seller. A sigh of freedom in the clink of the keys as I open the door to my apartment.

Freedom that brings a skip to my steps when I jump over a puddle.

Rains that make me want to read a book all day with a steaming cup of coffee.

Because while you look for romance all your life, there’s nothing more romantic than staying alone, surrendering yourself to every moment, surrendering control over what you thought was irreplaceable, falling in love with the lights and walls and rhythm of another city.

Falling in love with the sunset that looks the same and yet one that brings out a different colour to your cheeks.

Falling in love with the colour of ink flowing again, reflecting the colour of the night sky.

And for tonight and forever, I don’t want to stop.

~ tapoja roy

[Adapted from: Terribly Tiny Tales ]


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